Sign of Abuse

A sign of abuse I have noticed in myself lately is that I'm incredibly relaxed when I am at home with just my son. When my abusers come home, I immediately tense up and pray that I have remembered to do everything I'm supposed to do.  Because something simple like leaving the car unlocked or not doing dishes is enough reason to get kicked out of the house.  That's ridiculous.  I am an adult and should not be this frightened of silly things.  Counting down the days until my departure...