The bad thing about economic abuse is any screw up threatens whether or not me and my son have a place to sleep tonight. Things that are not ordinarily a big deal turn in to stressful situations.
Yesterday I went to one of those automated carwashes, the kind where you put the car in neutral and it drives the car through. There was a malfunction and the car behind me bumped repeatedly. There was no damage so it wasn't a big deal. Then while shampooing the upholestry I put my son in the driver's seat so I could wash the back seat. He broke the sun visor. It's also not a big deal, the replacement costs $45. But when I'm dealing with a mentally unstable, controlling, and abusive set of individuals, I never know what to expect.
I called my boyfriend freaking out about the whole situation and he seemed annoyed I was so concerned about things that are not life and death situations. But they practically are for me. It goes to show how bad psychological abuse really is, even as an adult. I was behaving as if someone were going to beat the life out of me for a broken sun visor.
Walking away from this life in a few months will be one of the hardest things I'll ever do. I can't have contact with my family anymore. But it's necessary. I can't live a normal life and be normal with abusive people having any influence.
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